


Just Between Us

by sabbathgoat



Category: Mötley Crüe, The Dirt (2019)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Smut, stressed Nikki is stressed, very sloppy makeouts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:01:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22485997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sabbathgoat/pseuds/sabbathgoat
Summary: Writing prompts for Mick/Nikki:"Oh. Uh... sorry. I think I'm feeling a little awkward." & "This is a secret. Do you understand me?"Nikki seems to have embarrassed himself in front of his guitar player... (Set in the 90s!)
Relationships: Mick Mars/Nikki Sixx
Comments: 11
Kudos: 43





	Just Between Us

To say Nikki was restless would be a pathetic understatement. Mick was currently being drove down the wrong side of the street mad at the younger man's pacing back and forth in the studio. The guitar player had been trying to record a single verse for Smoke the Sky for two fucking hours, but scraped every run when Nikki's loud unease ruined his focus. The younger man would walk to the door, pivot, then walk to the couch. Sit on the couch. Grab his bass to get shit done- and then drop it seconds later, walking back to the door with hands rubbing over his face. Groans and sighs of every range were the only music being made that day.

But Mick really couldn't blame him.

"Nikki, would you please relax and just play some shit?" Mick's words held no hostility in them as he took his headphones off and turned slightly to see the bass player staring at the wall.

"What?" Nikki mumbled, pretending not to have heard his friend.

"Dude."

"I'm sorry..." Nikki just about moaned in agony. Mick watched him with knowing eyes, his hand gripping the neck of his guitar a little tighter. He knew how Nikki was feeling- since they'd all gotten sober, perfection was held on to by a sturdy string from the bass player. He knew what the fuck was going on at all times, ever since Dr. Feelgood came out and smashed number one. His leadership skills had developed, along with his music and song writing. No longer under the daze of drugs and tied to a post by record companies, the joy of music found it's way back to Motley Crue's founder. Nikki fought back for what was good for the band, between struggles he was now strong enough to face. Mick was proud of him. Things had been going in the right way on a rocky road.

But with rocky roads, comes risks of flat tires. And that's what happened.

When Vince left and John joined the group, Mick didn't have much to say, so long as they kept making good music. And Nikki didn't either- at least not out loud. He claimed this was great, that Motley needed energy from someone who actually wanted to be there. That was fine with Mick and Tommy. Nikki agreed. But between endless interviews of the bass player assuring everyone that this was the best move possible, that the music would be fucking killer- Mick could smell the anxiety that rolled off him. 

So when Tommy ditched rehearsal that day and John took the afternoon off- it made sense that he'd worn in a path on the carpet of the studio.

"I'm sure he's fine, Nikki."

"I know he's fine, that's why it sucks. He's just out being dumb..." Nikki grumbled and sat heavily on the couch next to Mick, turning to face the older man with sad eyes. He let out a pent up sigh, a few of Mick's hairs blowing in it's breeze. The guitar player said nothing, knowing his words of ' _just relax, it's only one day,'_ would do nothing to sooth his friend.

_"Play me a song?"_ Nikki begged in a sad whisper.

Mick did just that- putting his pick down to strum a tune he'd been playing around with for months. Just a long loop of deep blues, every now and then rising higher, but always soft.

Nikki breathed a much needed slow yawn next to him, closing his overworked eyes and resting his face on the back of the couch inches from Mick's hair. 

Mick didn't mind. This was the only real chance to play any music all day, in fact. And if it was to comfort his best friend, then even better.

They hadn't done this in almost a year- Mick actually thought Nikki had outgrown his need for lullabies, sitting curled up next to the older man as he'd strum away whatever came to mind. In the 80s, more often than not Nikki would actually amp them up in speed and work them into songs. It was an unspoken ritual the two held- Nikki would find him either after a bad night of partying or when he was sick with withdraws, ask for a song, and Mick would put him to sleep. There were two times before when Tommy was there as well- he would either follow Nikki to Mick, or Nikki would pull him along. It was the only time Mick ever saw the kid relax for more than ten seconds at a time.

Five minutes went by of his sweet solo melody until he drifted the ending off in lonely deep chords, when he was sure Nikki had fallen asleep. His old fingers traced the strings and chipping paint of his instrument, as he daydreamed about what he could do better on the new album.

_"Thanks, old man. Love you..."_ Nikki's semiconscious mumble snapped Mick from his thoughts, turning to see Nikki stretching out with a huge yawn. The bass player got up, carrying himself as if he were full of rocks, and made his way to the door.

"I'l see you later, Mick." The door closed behind him. 

Mick's cheeks waited until Nikki was down the hall until they blushed bright pink. 

_Nikki had never said he loved him before._

**

**Five days later**

Mick eventually brushed off the comment and forgot all about it. Nikki had become so much more of a caring person ever since he dropped (or as he put it- broken up with,) heroin. He was just appreciating his friend was all. The bass player was doing a lot of that in recent years- appreciating every good thing one way or another

They had only maybe finished one song for the album, and Nikki was only getting more stressed. It seemed that working with John had thrown his routine right in the trash, and he was trying to figure out how to make the new Motley sound like old Motley while not ripping anyone's throats out.

"Fuck, this isn't working anymore, guys just take a break," He groaned in defeat, Tommy sighing and getting up from his drums.

"I'm gonna grab a snack, I'll be back!" The youngest jumped over an amp and was out the door in two seconds.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go grab a coffee..." _Poor John._ Mick watched the embarrassed look in the man's eyes grow as he too made his way to the exit. Nikki had been a little too harsh recently with the new singer, and Mick made a mental note to let the guy know not to worry about it. In his opinion, John sounded perfect.

That left just Nikki and the guitar player alone yet again in the room of scattered instruments.

"What the fuck am I gonna do?" Nikki whined like a dog into his hands.

"Relax." Mick smiled at the back of his head as Nikki stumbled to a chair. He plopped down and curled his legs up under himself, scratching at his unruly raven hair.

"I feel like every thing I do is wrong..." He began picking at his nails.

"You always do."

"What if the fans hate it?"

"Some will."

"What if Motley dies after this and we never play again?"

Mick had tried not to think about that one. He was too old to find another band. And even if he did... well, he tried not to think about that hassle either. A life without Motley Crue seemed like an impossible nightmare... They sat in silence for one minute, each of their minds running off into wild possible futures that all totally sucked balls.

"Come here." The older man finally spoke after enough sulking had gone by, sitting up on the couch with a wince and picking up his guitar. Nikki made his way over, sitting next to him gently but facing straight ahead. "Something tells me it will take more than a new singer to kill us. I think the fans are really gonna love this one. I know I do." His voice was soft as he positioned his instrument in his lap. Nikki breathed a silent sigh, chest rising and falling as he sunk deeper into the cushions.

Mick's fingers ran over the strings as he strummed a gentle tune, playing whatever came to mind first in deep, low pitched notes. His hand stroked the guitar's neck up and down, dancing in the motions as a song was put together in the seven minutes they spent sitting together. Mick eventually sat up to lean over the the guitar, indulged in the random music, so he missed the look Nikki was giving him.

The bass player's eyes focused solely on his older friend; the way his long black hair fell over his shoulders and around his hands, his head looking back and forth ever so slightly to watch his work. His bangs hung over his eyes, shadowing their hooded gaze as he played. Mick was just so peaceful... His aura and music soothed Nikki's worries immediately, and he swallowed as his body went limp with the exhaustion he'd been carrying for days. He made a quick mental note to thank Mick later, and let him know that despite his nit-picking, he thought his work on the new album was coming along fucking killer.

He fought to keep his eyes open, but lost the battle as his eyelids suddenly became too heavy to keep up and fell shut.

Two more minutes passed until Mick stopped, and turned to see Nikki fast asleep next to him. And maybe it was because Nikki had growled at John earlier when the singer hadn't even deserved it, or because Mick had lost two days of sleep over his _'I love you,'_ comment, but the guitarist thought that his friend was looking just a _little_ too peaceful.

His lip twisted in a smirk of mischief, fingers stroking down his guitar strings. He then gripped hold of his abused whammy bar, and gave it a good yank that filled the room with an echoing screech of heavy sound.

"What the fuck!?" Nikki bolted awake, jumping in his seat as his widened eyes looked around the room for a split second, before staring at Mick with hilarious confusion.

"Oh sorry, did I wake you princess?" Mick laughed deep in his throat, turning innocently back to his guitar.

"F-Fuck you, old man!" Nikki laughed with him, catching his breath as he stood up and walked over to his bass.

"Maybe later. Now get your shit together so we can get this fuckin' song done."

**

**Seven days later**

The band was smashing their way through a new song; the sounds finally falling in to place as they wrote and wrote, working as a team to put together quite possibly their favorite one yet. Nikki's stress was also finally dying off, the man able to enjoy the music for what it was after his parts were down and recorded. Every spare moment they had together, it seemed the leader was writing something new down in his journal of ideas that he couldn't wait to take for a test drive.

"That was sick as fuck!" Tommy laughed loudly when they had all done a run through of Smoke perfectly, throwing his drum sticks down and jumping over to tackle Nikki.

"Watch it T-Bone, you're fucking sweaty!" Nikki laughed with him, wrapping one arm around his friend as the other just barely managed to hang his bass up.

"You love it!" Tommy exclaimed as he tightened his grip, snaking his drenched arms around Nikki's neck.

_"Gross, get off me motherfucker!"_ Nikki shoved the best he could at his best friend, but Tommy held on tight and rubbed his dripping face against the other's. "Tommy, fuck you, get off!" Nikki laughed as he finally shoved the taller one off, nearly right into Mick's guitars.

"You two better watch it, if you break my shit I'll break you!" Mick's threat was only taken half seriously with his rare, wide grin. The older man was also too pumped about the song to to really complain about anything at the moment.

"Is that a promise?" Tommy joked, flopping down on the couch to look upside down at the guitar player. Mick smirked and debated sitting on him, but his back warned against it.

The band sat around together for half an hour talking about what would come next and any last minute adjustments, until John was the first to head home for the night.

"Yeah I gotta peace out too, I'll catch you dudes tomorrow!" Tommy let out a large yawn, jumping up with his usual endless energy to give Nikki a hug before heading out as well. No one said it out loud, but Mick knew that there was still a shared sense of unease when just the three of them were left alone in a studio. Vince's missing presence still left a little pain deep within the three of them, brining back painful memories of waiting around for hours at a time for Vince to show up.

Mick stretched as he stood up from his chair, leaning back the best he could to try and give his spine a break but hissing slightly when it only succeeded in sending a sharp wave of pain through his hips.

"You okay old man?" Nikki spoke softly with a caring grin as he walked over.

"'Course 'm fine." Mick mumbled. He groaned as he sat on the soft couch, finding a much more comfortable position. Nikki sat next to him as well- much closer than usual, Mick noted. His knees were pressed against Mick's thigh, and he leaned in close against the back of the couch until his face was mere inches from the other's shoulder.

Mick turned his head to look at him.

Nikki was gazing up at him with his bright turquoise eyes in an innocent pout, watching his older friend with an unusual amount of adoration.

" _What're you doing?_ " Mick nearly whispered.

" _Nothin'._ " Nikki mumbled back.

Mick turned away to grab a random guitar that had been placed next to the sofa, bringing it to his lap and going about un-tuning and retuning it after feeling odd under Nikki's gaze that Mars could only describe as lovesick. The bass player leaned closer to rest his chin on Mick's shoulder, nose buried in his dark hair.

Mick debated shoving him off, or maybe just asking him to move over to a more respectful distance, but couldn't bring himself to say anything. The shy way Nikki had waited until Mick was distracted to rest upon him let the guitarist know that this wasn't just the usual joke to get a rise from the older man. And besides, by the time he had processed that Nikki was really staying there getting comfortable, it was already to late for a _'what the fuck are you doing?'_

So Nikki stayed with his face hidden behind Mick's hair, chin atop his sore shoulder, and hands moving to hook a single finger around his belt loop.

Mick played with the guitar for six minutes, wondering how long his bandmate would stay curled up against him, until the pain in his bones began to grow just a little too much to ignore.

"Nikki-" he started, but before he could ask anything, Nikki brought his face even closer.

_"Nooooooooo,"_ he whined like a dog, arms finally reaching out to hug tightly around Mick's waist as his nose shoved against his neck. His face was completely lost in Mick's wild hair, leaving the guitarist speechless for a moment as he all but nuzzled against him. _"Don't make me move-"_ something in Nikki's voice pulled at Mick's heart strings. The kid really was stressed about something again, the anxiety around him strong enough to taste.

"What's wrong with you?" It wasn't a rude or offended question- but a gentle, genuine one. Mick stared down at his friend's black clad legs, unable to turn his head to the side with Nikki's skull so firmly pressed in the crook of his neck.

"Nothing."

"Nikki, come on..."

Nikki went quiet for a few seconds, before speaking almost too softly for Mick to hear even so close to him.

_"'m worried..."_

"About what?"

_"I don' wanna talk about it."_

Mick gave up then, not feeling up to forcing a therapy session with a grown man plastered to his side. So he took in a sigh and laid a hand on Nikki's shoulder.

"Well, come here," he grumbled, pulling on the other's shirt to bring Nikki into his lap. The bass player straddled him, keeping his face out of view tucked away under Mick's ear while his arms hugged him tightly, like an overgrown baby. His dead weight was almost too heavy for Mars to comfortably bare, but he only groaned lowly as Nikki's large body glued itself in place.

Mick remained silent as his hands came up to rub soothing circles onto Nikki's back, then down to his thick thighs, peering over his shoulder at the wall full of pictures and records.

He had a rough idea as to what Nikki was so worried about, but said nothing.

"You smell good..." the older man wondered if he had heard Sixx correctly, and his brows furrowed as he asked.

"I _smell_ good? How?"

"I don't know, like you."

_Brilliant._

Nikki nosed at Mick's ear. The guitar player tried to hide his surprised shiver, but failed, earning another one from the younger man.

A low, loving moan vibrated against his throat as Nikki moved down, rubbing his face over Mick's neck again. The guitarist's hair was tangled all around him, but it didnt seem to be a bother as Nikki moved to breathe over Mick's jaw. His lips ghosted his skin, nose inhaling deeply as it pushed close. He went back to his ear, kissing it with just a ghost of a touch.

_"You smell really fucking good."_ He breathed, only for Mick to hear even though they were already alone.

Mick swallowed, hands gripping Nikki's shoulders tightly as he shifted in his seat. He wasn't sure how he felt about this whole situation, and he was pretty sure Nikki was starting to move his hips in a dangerous way.

They had done this only once before, back in 1989, fresh out of rehab when Nikki had finally gotten himself some sort of sober. Back then he had done the same thing, inching closer to Mick the second the two were alone, then finding home in the guitarist's lap. Mick had shoved him off after only a minute, as soon as Nikki kissed his forehead. Mick had been pissed as hell, going through withdraws and suffering from more back pain than usual. He didnt need his bandmate trying to start shit that would get them in trouble, or stir up feelings. Nikki had apologized of course, and stayed at arms length away for years after that. 

Mick had felt bad, knowing he'd broken some bit of trust with his long time friend, but never knowing how to apologize for it. So this time, he let Nikki finish.

_"Love you, old man..."_ it was his saddened confession that brought Mick back to the present.

" _Nikki_..." He spoke as soft as his voice would let him. Nikki stopped moving, keeping his lips against Mick's ear lobe for just a second before he finally sat back to look him in the eyes.

"I'm sorry..." he sighed. "Sorry," he repeated, as he shook his head and made to move. Mick grabbed his shoulder before he could leave his lap.

"It's okay. Just... talk to me?" Mick held his eye contact.

Nikki glanced down, fiddling with Mick's shirt.

"I feel like I failed."

"At what?"

A pause.

"The band, I guess. We lost Vince, I don't want to lose anyone else. If you or Tommy decide to leave... fuck, I dont know what the hell I would do..." he sucked in a shaky sigh, rubbing a hand over his eyes.

"Nikki," Mick reached up to take his fingers in his, so Nikki could look at him again.

"I'm not going anywhere. And I doubt Tommy is either. It's okay, Sixx, we're fine... Just focus on making some good fucking music, and we'll get this album perfect, alright? The fans aren't gonna forget about us."

Nikki smiled bittersweet, bitting his bottom lip to avoid showing his teeth.

"You're right. I just... I don't know, you guys are all the family I've ever known, it fucking sucks being broken up."

"I know. But you know Vince didn't want to be here anymore..."

They sat like that for a minute, Nikki tracing Mick's knuckles, lost in thought as he slowly nodded to himself.

He leaned forward eventually again, this time on the other side of Mick's head as he hid once more in the crook of his neck. He hugged his guitar player close, Mick ignoring the slight sting of back pain at the strong grip and simply returning it.

Nikki kissed his neck for real this time, lips leaving a cool wet mark as they moved to his jaw. He kissed him again, testing the waters, then going to his ear. To his temple. Then towards the back of his head, kissing a face full of silky hair. Mick didn't protest, only rubbing Nikki's lower back. It was honestly quite relaxing- Mick had never had such affection from anyone before. All his previous girlfriends had favored throwing shit at him instead of any sort of grooming or cuddling like what was currently going on. It was fucking nice, he had to admit...

His bright blue eyes eventually closed, his forehead resting against Nikki's shoulder as his younger friend peppered his hair line with soft kisses.

It took one full minute for Mick to realize something, however.

His eyes shot open when he noticed Nikki had been rocking his hips against him, subtle movements but just enough to start-

"Nikki-" Mick stated, gripping Nikki's shirt tighter.

The bass player stopped moving his head, but not his legs.

" _Mick_ ," it sounded much too aroused muffled against the guitarist's hair and the couch cushion.

"Nikki, wait," Mick tried not to sound as frantic as he felt. It was then Nikki froze completely, leaning back at light speed when he realized what Mick was so suddenly concerned about. 

A rock hard erection sat in Nikki's skinny jeans between them.

"Oh, fuck! Mick, I'm sorry-" he was moving to jump off Mick's lap before he could finish his sentence, but the guitarist grabbed his hand before he could bolt to the bathroom.

"Whoa, hey, sit down," he pulled Nikki back to his lap. Nikki looked a mix between terrified and embarrassed.

"Oh. Uh.... sorry. I think I'm feeling a little awkward." He swallowed hard, avoiding the man's eyes as a strangled nervous laugh escaped him.

Mick said nothing, simply putting one hand on Nikkis belt and bringing the other up to gently cup his chin. His thumb and fingers ran tenderly along his jaw, massaging it as Nikki turned to mush at the touch. He allowed his face to be pulled down close to Mick's, the older man leaning up to kiss him on the lips- slow, deep, and proper, full of love as Nikki melted against him. He mouthed at his bottom lip, letting Nikki slip his tongue between his lips as his other hand undid the boy's belt. Nikki licked Mick's teeth, and while the guitarist thought for a moment that that was just a little bit weird, he kept working on freeing his bandmates cock. He unzipped his jeans when the belt was out of the way, but paused before he reached his hand in, wanting to just make sure that they were still good.

Nikki's warning growl was enough to continue, though.

Mick's hand decided to rub up under Nikki's shirt first, running his fingers along his stomach and up to his pecs. They traced his ribs, went around to rub his soft back, down his spine and around again to massage Nikki's side. The younger man groaned loudly into Mick's mouth, and Mick couldn't stop the smile that spread on his lips. Nikki moaned again, kissing a little harder, bringing his hands to cup his guitarist's smooth face. He returned the favor by rubbing his thumbs along his cheeks just under his eyes, dragging his hands down to grope each side of Mick's neck which earned him a deep moan he had never heard before. Nikki smiled this time at Mick's response, repeating the motion and reaching back to bury his fingers in his dark hair.

Mick's hand finally made it's way under the seam of Nikki's briefs, feeling the soft hair that surrounded his dick. He took Nikki's member in his grip, the bassist twitching and groaning in pleasure as he sucked in a breath between Mick's teeth. Mick grinned again, biting his bottom lip as Nikk lost focus on the world, closing his gorgeous eyes as his hands yanked on Mick's hair for an anchor. His hips thrust into the hand that wrapped perfectly around his erection, panting and whining and pawing at Mick as the guitarist worked him. Mick watched his face, noticing a decently sized string of drool spill from Nikki's reddened lips, hanging down past his chin and swaying with his movements. He whimpered again as Mick's grip tightened ever so slightly, his thumb finding Nikki's slit and pushing down just right.

_"O-Oh, fuck-"_ Nikki gasped, trying to swallow back the mess his gaping mouth was making, but failing when another shudder racked his frame at a strong stroke. Mick leaned up, sticking his tongue out and catching Nikki's drool in the air as his free hand pulled the younger man's face down to meet in the wettest kiss he'd ever had. Spit coated both their chins, running down Mick's neck as their mouths made hot love.

" _Mick_ -" Nikki managed to breathe out, but couldn't find anymore words. His hips rocked on shaky knees, chasing the contact of Mick's strong hand working wonders on him. The guitarist gripped the base of his erection- still hidden in his underwear- just tight enough to set fire to Nikki's guts, then stroked slow and strong to the tip, rolling his fingers over it. He groaned himself at the feeling of his hand becoming more and more soaked with Nikki's precum and sweat, using the clothing to his advantage for extra friction as he guided the tip of Nikki's cock to rub against it.

Nikki threw his head back and cried out like a wild wolf, loud enough that Mick worried someone might hear and come looking.

_"Shhhhhhh_ , _"_ he whispered through a clenched jaw, grinning at the sight of his bandmate reduced to overstimulated jelly in his lap. He leaned up and pressed a kiss to the underside of Nikki's chin, earning a delighted whimper. He ran his lips and just the tip of his tongue down his friend's exposed, begging throat. Nikki cried out again, shivering under the touch. Mick licked over his adams apple, gripping his hair tighter as he felt it bob between his lips when Nikki swallowed hard.

_"Faster?"_ he choked when Mick leaned back.

The older man obeyed, stroking quicker with more even movements that sent Nikki quivering. He jerked his hips forward hard enough that it pushed Micks hand against his own stomach. Again and again, he thrust hard into Mick's thick hand, which worked strong and full of control after so many years of playing guitar.

_"Oh fuck, I love you so much-"_ Nikki sounded desperate as his eyes screwed shut. Mick went a little faster.

"I love you too, you stupid fuck," Mick chuckled, although it really came out as a choked cough through his slipping control on his own arousal. His dick was aching under his leather pants, twitching at the contact Nikki gave as he humped Mick's lap.

_"So much, please never fucking leave me-"_ Nikki cried for real that time, a tear falling from his closed eyes as his tongue hung out in labored breaths that dangled more long strands of saliva. Mick watched him intently, panting with him as his hand went faster, keeping the other one in a strong grip on Nikki's long hair.

Nikki finally came with a deep, guttural moan, orgasming into his briefs and all over Mick's palm. He shuddered and shivered for just a second, thighs clenching tight around Mick's as he fell forward to embrace the guitarist in a desperate, passionate grip. He cried unto Mick's hair, shaking as his entire body contracted and gave a few last strong thrusts to empty himself. His hands gripped Mick's shirt so hard that the older man was afraid he'd rip it.

_"Breathe, Nikki, good lord-"_ Mick was impressed at both the size of the load currently running through his fingers, and how strong Nikki's climax was.

Nikki sucked in a deep breath, then another as his hands failed to release his shirt. He tried to sit back, but was too weak to do so as his thighs shivered and his hips still twitched.

Mick kept his hand in his underwear, gingerly moving his fingers to feel the insane amount of cum coating his skin and soaking through the clothes. He didn't pull away until Nikki was fully soft again, not wanting to get him riled up once more. He knew how easy that was to do from countless stories he didn't want to hear.

"Holy fuck," Mick grinned in surprise, at the sight of his hand drenched in Nikki's white load.

Nikki, now breathing normally again, managed to sit back and look down at it.

"Oh shit, s-sorry... probably should have warned you, s-sometimes that happens-" he swallowed.

"You have before..." Mick whispered. Nikki looked away with a sly grin, knowing exactly what his bandmate was talking about.

Thinking back for a split second, Mick wondered if all those times that Nikki had bragged on and on to just him specifically about how _he_ would cum so hard, how much _he_ could release, how long _he_ could last, never a thing about the bitch he was with, were actually attempts at dropping hints. Mick had always assumed it was just the young man showing off looking for approval from the eldest member of the band, but now he thought it was a possibility that that was just Nikki's young version of _flirting_.

There had been one story specifically, he remembered, where Nikki had cornered him in the tour bus and made Mick sit through his detailed explanation of how he had finally found a toy and gotten it all the way up his ass, and how he had never shot a load so big before because it felt so good. Tommy had been sitting next to him, amazed and laughing his ass off, saying something like _'you gotta teach me too, bro!'_ Mick had nearly punched Nikki in the teeth, had he not been so damned drunk, but there was something deep in the younger man's eyes that had held his fist back. He had always looked so _desperate_ for some kind of positive response from Mick... A hidden fear was always somewhere in his eyes that Mick actually _would_ punch him, but always waiting for his reaction anyways. That time he had barely even acknowledged Tommy, as if his terror twin was butting in on a two person conversation.

Another memory popped into his head, while Nikki came down from his high in his lap.

"You remember that time on the bus that you kept asking me to pick one man in the world that I would have sex with?" Mick leaned in to whisper against his ear. "And I was so pissed, and never even chose anyone?"

Nikki shivered.

"Y-yes," he giggled.

Mick met his eyes, not looking away as he brought his hand up to his own mouth, sticking two fingers between his lips as far back as they could go, sucking off the mess.

Nikki stared at him in what could only be amazement.

Mick did it again with the other two, moaning softly as he licked his hand clean. It wasn't exactly spotless when he was done, so he wiped it on Nikki's thigh.

"You wanted me to say you, didn't you? Or maybe pick someone that looked like you?" Mick grinned. Nikki blushed deep pink, wiping his nose in a nervous twitch.

"Guess I did..." he mumbled into his hand.

Mick leaned up to kiss him once more, their tongues meeting immediately to swap spit and spill drool.

"Poor baby, didn't want to admit his real feelings?" Mick spoke softly to the bassist when he pulled away with a wet pop. He peppered Nikki's jaw with gentle kisses.

"I tried, a few times..." Nikki smiled, slow and genuine as his eyes closed in bliss. He couldn't help his small squirms under the touch.

_"You're mine now, okay?"_ Mick gave one last peck to his ear before leaning back to look at him.

Nikki cracked his eyes open to meet his gaze and nod.

"This is a secret. Do you understand me?"

_"_ Yeah.. _."_ Nikki whispered. He looked down at Mars with love in his ocean eyes, the older man returning the gesture. "I meant it, you know."

"What?" Mick knew what he was going to say.

"That I love you. And to never leave me. Seriously, I can't live without you... I wrote that fucking song about you. I was gonna leave your name in it, but changed everything to woman last minute," he smirked nervously. He shut his dripping mouth before he spilled any more than he already had.

Mick simply watched him.

"Say something?" Nikki sounded like he wanted to cry.

"I love you too, Nikki. Just don't ever forget it." Mick blinked, relaxing back on the couch again as his arms wrapped around Nikki to bring him into a tight hug. His dirty hand rested on the back of Nikki's head in his wild hair, rubbing soothing motions into his scalp. His mind reeled on near-overdrive at the sudden knowledge that one of their most famous and loved songs was about _him_ , of all people...

_"Fuckin' love you old man..."_ Nikki mumbled into Mick's shoulder, sighing once more.

They stayed like that for ten minutes, until Nikki's crotch started to itch and Mick's back began to tighten up again.

"Come on, let's clean ourselves up and grab something to eat." Mick patted his shoulder.

"Wait," Nikki said, sitting back and suddenly sliding down to kneel on the floor in front of him, head in Mick's lap as he gazed up at his curious look. "I havent returned the favor yet," he grinned his mischievous smile.

Mick bit his lip, throwing his head back onto the couch with a loud groan.


End file.
